Sunday, October 24, 2010

Letting Go

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I handle stuff, and how my reactions set the tone for how my day goes.

Yesterday was a prime example. I woke up, did dishes, made breakfast for my family, and then tried to get some stuff done around the house. But I was stressed the whole time, and I can't say I was that pleasant to be around. I felt there was too much to get done, too little time, and I was already tired from not getting enough sleep the night before.

But then I shifted my thinking. I got to have a meal with my guys, and I did get some stuff done. Yes, I wasn't going to be getting the nap I wanted, but I could get some things done and enjoy my time with my little one.

I realized that trying to over-manage the people I love most was not only driving them crazy, but it was causing me stress. And I was allowing that stress to ruin my day. So, now that I see a problem, how do I fix it?

simplify my life.
weight things as they truly matter.
stop and breathe, and look around to enjoy what I have.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Deep Tired Feeling

The last few months have been really hard. There's not much I can point to and say "that's what made it hard". It's been this slow build of running myself into the ground for far too long. My work was too much, the stuff around the house was too much... It's been a tiring season.

But, through God's hand I have a smaller client load. It made us step back and realize I was trying to do too much. I'm trying to look at other areas of my life where I'm trying to do too much and not focusing on the things that matter most.

Tonight I turned off the TV and BabyFish and I played together. It had been a great morning at the Pumpkin Patch, and there was great fun had by all. But Saturday nights are always just the two of us. I like to think of it as Mommy Son Date Night. So I sat on the floor and played trains and firetrucks with him. I loved watching his little face as he learned new ways to play with things, and thinking about how his little mind is processing all the things he learns as he plays.

I'm tired and I can't way I wanted to sit on the floor and play with toys, but I'm glad I did. I'm hoping that this deep tired feeling will go away but even if it doesn't, I'll stop to play on the floor with my little one and enjoy him.