Stitch Fix #3 - Pregnancy Fix!

Whew, I am so glad I held off a little while on this Fix - if for no other reason than I got to share our surprising and joyful news with you before  it came! I had initially decided to stop my monthly fixes, but then thought it might be a good idea to try it out (thus the later in the month Fix). I had heard they could work with pregnancy, and I was really curious to see! There weren't a lot of Fix Blogs about continuing with Stitch Fix while pregnant, and I thought it was worth a shot. I also had gotten rid of most of my maternity clothes in the last couple years, since we thought we would be done, haha!

What is Stitch Fix?
It's a Subscription clothing service. You sign up (here is my referral link - thank you!) and fill out a fairly extensive survey about you, your sizes, and your preferences. You can choose to have a "fix" as often as you like, or just sign up for one Fix at a time. You pay a $20 styling fee to a Stylist who will then pick out 5 items to send to you. (Someone else putting in the time and energy to find my clothes? Yes!) The $20 will go towards anything you keep, and if you keep everything in the box, you get 25% off.
They send you a postage paid mailing bag to send anything back that you don't want to keep, and you fill out a survey about what you liked and didn't like in your fix.
Their clothing is high quality (think Nordstrom) and they send you styling cards to help you figure out how to wear what they have sent.

(They have accessories and purses that can be part of your fix, but with my metal allergies, I thought it was best to have them just send clothes to me.)

So, on to the good stuff!
My style card:

My box was nearly twice as big as normal, and I was a little confused at first. But then once I saw the inside of the box I discovered why.

 RD Style Evelynn Graphic Knit Split Back Cardigan

This sweater is SO THICK! It needed about as much room in the box as all the other clothes together! And while I liked the graphic design and color, this laid so badly on me! It puffed out at the sides, I had trouble getting my hands into the pockets because they are so far back, and the heavy material may be AWESOME for someone who runs cold, but I tend to always be warm, and even more so pregnant. Hubby once joked before we had kids that he was afraid I would spontaneously combust once I was pregnant. I have been pregnant through winter each time, and still sleep with the fan on and the heat off.

(Status: Sending Back)

Market and Spruce Trina Crochet Detail Tab-Sleeve Shirt
I paired this top with a grey  skinny belt from my own closet, and while I liked the lightweight feel and the BEAUTIFUL detail, it was already a little snug around my the middle for how early on I am. (This third baby has popped out SO FAST!!!!) I wasn't crazy about the color, and the collar with the points. I wish it had gone down at an angle instead.
(Status: Sending back)

Papermoon Sadie V-Neck Embroidery Detail Tank &
Mavi Frieda Maternity Regular Length Jean
You guys, Stitch Fix has MATERNITY jeans! They have been very clear that they don't do maternity clothes and they work around pregnancy, so I was very surprised that they sent these! It was a nice touch and I really felt like they were trying hard to help me find things I would really wear. That said, the panel on these jeans went OVER my bust. See the little dark blue sticking out of the V in the shirt in the pic on the left? Not a tank. It's the maternity panel. Which made me giggle lots. I really thought because they had this huge panel they might stay up better, but they scrunched down under the panel, which looked weird.
 (Status: Still deciding)
The tank was sheer and would for sure need something under it, but it is beautiful, bright, and the detail is lovely. There's plenty of room for my belly to grow.It's not my favorite fabric though
 (Status: Still deciding)

Lastly, Skies are Blue Stefan Mixed Print Peasant Blouse

Oh my goodness, I LOVE this blouse! It's soft, beautiful colors and fun print. It has lots of room to grow, and I've tried it belted with my skinny grey belt and loved that too!

(Status: Keeping!)

So there is my first pregnancy fix! It really is nice to have someone else picking clothes - I wouldn't have tried on a couple of these items if I had seen them in the store - like the Peasant Blouse above - my favorite item from this fix.
What do you think about this fix?
I do recommend giving Stitch Fix a try! 

The Real Reason....

Remember *THAT* StitchFix dress? 

The one I heard lots of comments that I should have kept? Well, I can finally tell everyone the REAL reason I didn't keep it. I DID like it, and Hubs thought it was great on me. I was unsure, but mostly because I had just gotten news the day before my fix came.

I couldn't wrap my head around keeping something that it would easily be a year before I thought I could really wear. So back it went.

I AM going to try StitchFix this month, but with notes about how far along I am and with some new sizes. I'm excited to see how they handle my Maternity Stitchfix!

StitchFix #2

Sorry everyone - the last month has been CRAZY! Hubs was working mad hours and I was just trying to hold down the fort! This week, we all slowed down when our littlest caught something nasty, and I finally have some downtime to write!

So, my second StitchFix... was really good! I think my pinterest board helped. the stylist mentioned that my board gave her some inspiration.

What is Stitch Fix?
It's a Subscription clothing service. You sign up (here is my referral link - thank you!) and fill out a fairly extensive survey about you, your sizes, and your preferences. You can choose to have a "fix" as often as you like, or just sign up for one Fix at a time. You pay a $20 styling fee to a Stylist who will then pick out 5 items to send to you. (Someone else putting in the time and energy to find my clothes? Yes!) The $20 will go towards anything you keep, and if you keep everything in the box, you get 25% off.
They send you a postage paid mailing bag to send anything back that you don't want to keep, and you fill out a survey about what you liked and didn't like in your fix.
Their clothing is high quality (think Nordstrom) and they send you styling cards to help you figure out how to wear what they have sent.

(They have accessories and purses that can be part of your fix, but with my metal allergies, I thought it was best to have them just send clothes to me.)

I took more photos this month, so you could see how it looks when you get it!

The box is surprisingly small to hold 5 pieces of clothes!

Wrapped up all pretty!

With a personal note and styling cards for each piece of clothing sent...

 

First peek!

All the clothes laid out on my bed, ready to try on!

First up: Adora Ankle length Colored Skinny Jean & Jillian Crochet Detail Tank

The jeans were soft and stretchy, and I LOVED the color. I've been wanting a pair of colored jeans (I don't think I even have black pants!) While I really wanted these to work, they were just a little too skinny, especially in the waist. (Status: Sent Back)

The crochet detail tank was the softest material, and what I failed to have Hubs take a pic of was the gorgeous detail on the top back of the tank. It starts on those straps, and I LOVE lace, but don't have anything like this piece. This was a HUGE win for me! (Status: kept!)

The owl necklace was a gift from a wonderful friend of mine

Sloane Colorblock A-Line Ponte Shift Dress - It was this gorgeous thick material that also had give. Really comfortable and fun, but it hugged me in the places I am most self conscious. Hubs loved it, but I felt it was destined to get stuck in the back of the closet. (Status: Sent Back)

Zabaleta Boat Neck Striped Knit Shirt - This shirt was fun - the color was great and the cut was good. I just didn't LOVE this piece, and the great wardrobe clear out of this winter taught me to only keep what I LOVE! (Status: Sent Back)

Lastly, the Cara Flutter Sleeve Blouse - This was pretty sheer, and the material just didn't give a whole lot. Fine if I was sitting in an office, but chasing two kids around tends to require some "give" when I'm picking them up and playing with them. (Status: Sent Back)

This service is so much fun - coming home to a present on my doorstep, with the ability to try things on at home with other articles of clothing I love (The jeans in the last couple pics were from my last StitchFix!) and the ability to just drop at a mail box anything I want to return has been a huge help to this Mama who does NOT want to take 2 kids to the mall to hopefully find something I like.  

I did have a different stylist this month, but both fixes have been really great at helping me find things I wouldn't normally have tried on

If you haven't tried it, it's definitely fun to give Stitch Fix a try! 

StitchFix

This past winter, I pared my wardrobe down. Not a little - I have kept it to only 40 pieces in my closet (Lounge wear and accessories not included). I still have a good chunk of my clothes up in bins in my garage attic, but it has made my life so much less complicated to know that what is in my closet fits and is seasonally appropriate. It also means that I have started choosing higher quality pieces, because I want them to last.

Enter Stitch Fix last month. I had seen a couple of my favorite bloggers use the service, but thought it sounded very expensive. Meanwhile, my Target and Old Navy wardrobe was full of things that stretched out, got holes quickly, and was generally very bland. Once I had so much less in my closets, I wanted to love my clothes more. So I decided it couldn't hurt, especially since the days of wandering the mall and shopping for the perfect ______ (whatever it was that I was lacking) were long since gone now that I was chasing after 2 very busy children.

What is Stitch Fix?
It's a Subscription clothing service. You sign up (here is my referral link - thank you!) and fill out a fairly extensive survey about you, your sizes, and your preferences. You can choose to have a "fix" as often as you like, or just sign up for one Fix at a time. You pay a $20 styling fee to a Stylist who will then pick out 5 items to send to you. (Someone else putting in the time and energy to find my clothes? Yes!) The $20 will go towards anything you keep, and if you keep everything in the box, you get 25% off.
They send you a postage paid mailing bag to send anything back that you don't want to keep, and you fill out a survey about what you liked and didn't like in your fix.
Their clothing is high quality (think Nordstrom) and they send you styling cards to help you figure out how to wear what they have sent.

(They have accessories and purses that can be part of your fix, but with my metal allergies, I thought it was best to have them just send clothes to me.)

On to what I got in my box:
This nifty styling card

Kensie Jeans Sofia Skinny Jeans 
& Pomelo Moni Geo Print & Camisole Blouse
I was shocked and amazed! How many times had I spent HOURS searching for Jeans that were right? My stylist (Caroline) NAILED it on the first try. I LOVE these jeans! (Status: Kept)
The Top was beautiful (the stud detail!) and I REALLY wanted to keep it, but it was just a little too tight and I wa pretty sure I couldn't play with the kids in it. I was super sad that it went back! (Status: Sent Back)

41Hawthorn Colibri Arrow Print Tab-Sleeve Blouse
I really liked the print, but I didn't like the collar. It kinda poked into my neck? Also, the buttons pulled apart, so sizing was also an issue with this. (I think that may have been my error in my profile) (Status: Sent Back)

41Hawthorn Selfridge Cowl Neck Long Sleeve Top
This was the SOFTEST shirt. I loved the way it draped on me in the front, but the back of this was see through. Put a camisole under? Yes, but the front already had two layers, and I tend to run warm. (Status: Sent Back)

Gilli Lorna Diagnol Stripe Maxi Skirt
This is with one of my tee shirts tucked in so you could see the waistband. (BTW, my big camera died and these last two photos were from my cell). I wanted to love the skirt, and the print was great, but it did not lay well on me. it bunched at the front. (Status: Sent Back)

While I only kept the jeans, I LOVED the service! It was so fun to come home to a box full of items hand picked for me. It was full of things I wouldn't have EVER picked up on my own, but were really up my alley.

I had originally intended to only do the one fix, but loved it so much that I decided to try the monthly service.
If you haven't tried it, it's definitely fun to check Stitch Fix out!

You sign up using this link (my referral link, thank you!)

You fill out a style profile sharing what types of fashions you like and don’t like. This gives your stylist an understanding of what you like and don’t like. (I also recommend creating a Stitch Fix pinterest board that also helps showcase your style.)

You pay a $20 styling fee, which is applied to anything you keep in your first box. You lose it if you don’t keep anything, but this doesn’t usually happen!

You will receive your first box of five hand-selected items in a few weeks.

Keep what you like, send back what you don’t in the postage paid bag that comes with your fix.

Rock your stylish, quality new clothes and accessories!

- See more at: http://www.themomcreative.com/2014/06/stitch-fix-update-and-june-box.html#sthash.w97Sidmz.dpuf

Upcycled Play Kitchen

So, FishPapa and I have wanted to get LittleFish a play kitchen. We prefer toys that are imagination based play, and what could be better than teaching our boy that cooking is for him too? (He always loves to help in the kitchen when I can find things for him to do...)

The problem is how freaking expensive those giant pieces of molded plastics are. It's a little shocking, and certainly not my favorite to have in our home. Then, when I was on Pinterest, I saw the cutest thing: Repurposed furniture being turned into Play Kitchens. After looking for a while, I decided I would try to see if it was a do-able project for me. If I borrow or buy a jigsaw and find the pieces at thrift stores, I think it's a do-able and inexpensive project!

So, today i looked at Goodwill (total bust). They wanted $50 for nightstands. Not cool. Someone needs to remind them that they are a thrift store. So I went down to the Salvation Army thrift store: SCORE! I found the world's ugliest piece of furniture that is PERFECT to upcycle into a play kitchen for $15. Once I get my hands on a handheld jigsaw, I can cut the whole for the sink and trim a piece of plywood we have to become the back splash. I'll spend the next few days finding knobs and faucets, and doing some planning, but I've got that new project buzz. Maybe even more so because I can do some cool repurposing while making something sweet and cool for my boy!

Here is the before picture of our play kitchen:

And the after, once we set it up for Christmas:

Choose Joy

Today, I cried for a woman I'll never meet, but who has impacted my life more than she'll ever know. She wasn't famous, and couldn't even leave her home. Gitzen Girl is truly remarkable though. Beautiful and insightful, she chose joy instead of al the things she could have.

See, she has a chronic illness. Something that's a pretty touchy thing for me. I've spent my whole life around people who are chronically ill. My mother passed away earlier this summer after a nearly 35 year battle with MS. It affected every area of my life. Three of my closest friends are chronically ill. I'm not even sure how that happened, but these are the women God has placed in my life.

Gitzen has done something remarkable though. Something most people don't. She chose joy.  She's been in terrible pain, but has chosen to focus on others. To LOVE, beautifully, passionately.  She's reminded me to  stop and smell flowers, to enjoy my sweet puppy. Her word for the year is "Praise". She considers herself blessed. She hasn't been able to even open her windows to smell fresh air, and getting out of bed very hard. Constant pain - but she remained beautiful and centered in that God is Good - All the time.

Now, her time here is drawing to a close. She's looking homeward. She's ending well. So loved, and has impacted SO MANY people with her choice.

I cry because beauty this precious is rare, and the world will lose this special light. Because of those left behind, and their pain. I cry because I know this sadness. But for Gitzen, I cry tears of happiness, knowing that she will be free of her shell that has held her. She will be whole and healed, and she will be rewarded for the way she lived.

Conviction

So, it's been a while since I posted anything.

It's been a rough year. The weather has SUCKED. I lost my Grandpa & my Mom in the span of 3 weeks. And I always feel at the edge of the depression cliff.

Surprisingly, potty training was much easier than I had ever hoped it would be. Our accidents are mostly limited to clothing failures, and it took so fast and well it was shocking.


Today I heard a worship band at an event. They were mediocre at best. They played and sang well, and it took me a long time to figure out why I was so put off by them. There was something about them that made them feel old to me, and I prayed that we wouldn't sound like that in a couple of weeks when we play a festival. Finally, as they played a favorite U2 song of mine, it dawned on me. They played and sang pretty well, but something was missing. Conviction about what they were singing.

When you listen to Bono, you hear the pain in his voice. You feel the passion coming through the speakers at you. He believes what he sings. Jessica, my favorite worship leader, is that way. I still can't get over how she would play, sing and cry at the same time. She allowed her heart to be full of what she played.

How often does that lack of conviction, that lack of passion hold us back from the things we are pretty good at becoming the things we are great at? The things we were meant to be known for?

Rebirth

In the last week or two, I feel like there's a rebirth going on inside of me. The winter was long and hard, and the long frozen bulbs of life and beauty are beginning to come to alive again. I don't even think there's been time for them to come out of the ground and show the changes happening below.

But I see that tiny spark of hope, of community, and I know that all it takes is one good breath to either blow it out, or to fan it to flame. I feel so protective of it, wanting to make sure it doesn't go out again.

I have been so lucky to have musician friends, and often their own songs have really identified a period of time in my life. Gabe's music, filled with wonder, was there as we began our journey together as husband and wife, and had adventures and the awe of God to carry us.  Jess's music was there to comfort as I descended into the dark places of my life to begin to deal with the pool of pain that had been built inside me to protect everyone. But I can't really say that these last few years have had a song.

In so many ways, that was the problem. I left the places that gave my heart songs to sing, and went to the cold reaches of space. Eerily quiet and frozen, I sat, waiting to hear a melody I could pick up. Things that SHOULD have had songs in my life were crushed by grief and depression.

Finally, a lifeline was thrown out, and I grabbed for it. Eucharisto. The practice of communion with God through thanksgiving. I remember this in bits and pieces, but that was before the pool of pain and the vault of memories opened to reveal a life that I had not realized was my own. The recollection of the past allowed me to really begin to see things as they were, not as i wished them to be. But it hurt more than I thought I could bear.

And the thanksgiving stopped. I was angry, hurt, and a million other emotions at everything from that past life, especially God. Until the last week, I hadn't even begun to swim the depths of what that meant.

Now, as I put toes into the water I wonder if I am brave enough to go all the way in. To REALLY practice thankfulness for the little things so that I will learn to give thanks even in the hard things. But even the toes in the water have begun to thaw my heart, and I hear music again. Right now, It's Jer's music, open and honest, but with incredible gratitude toward the Father who Overwhelms us, who Washes over us and holds us in our dark places.

My tears fall, but they aren't angry or full of sorrow anymore. They are tears of Eucharisto, thankful tears to the Father who loves me and IS Good, not matter how I feel.

What God Does...

The way God makes changes, how he creates a theme for us to see over and over, until we finally realize he is trying to speak life into a new area of our lives...it's baffling, and completely beautiful!

I was struggling with insecurity in a friendship. I was completely afraid that the person would be so changed from an experience that they would no longer want me in their life. I KNEW that sounded wrong, but I couldn't figure out where this was coming from. In a flash a couple nights ago, it came to me.

Because it had happened in my past. I had a friend make a similar trip, and there were tears, I will miss yous, letters between us...then "I can't be friends with you anymore, you are a bad influence on my life". I seriously had another young adult tell me this. It had been the first female I had poured myself out to in years... I walked back into not wanting to be around women for several years after that. I still can tend to hold them at arms length.

For Years God has been working on my relationships with women. Too many wounds to try to clean out and heal at once. And then this beautiful young woman came into my life, and I opened up. It's an equal friendship, neither of us needing the other more (My other pattern is to choose people who "need" me so that they won't leave me). It's been hard, but beautiful.

This insecurity was making me afraid to keep opening myself up and being available. But once I realized where it came from, I confessed to her about it. She smiled in the sweet way she does, and told me she had been having the same fear. SHE was afraid I wouldn't want to be her friend anymore. She had her friends leave her too many times for her not to be wounded as well.

And then she told me that one of their exercises last week was to pray through insecurities and fears from their pasts to help them become fully functioning Christians. This was the area she had prayed through for herself. And somehow, God in his beautiful way, allowed me to be a part of it from very far away. God is mysterious, and wonderful, and even when we don't realize what he is up to; Good.

What is success in Motherhood?

Some days I look at our life and wonder if I am a terrible Mom.

We tend to eat the same things for breakfast every day.
When we need to run errands or do anything, we are gone most of the morning. LittleFish snacks on Z bars and fruit snacks and bunny crackers while we are out, and frequently skips over lunch all together.
When we do get dinner on, I'm lucky if we get much of it in to him, and then he snacks before bed.
I never feel like I've spent enough time playing with him, although I do try to include him in any special cooking I do.

Motherhood is hard, especially since I really don't feel like I had a good idea of what it should look like. I constantly feel lost and am never sure if I'm doing it well, or terribly. We don't tend to do well with rigid schedules, but I wonder if it would feel more sane if I had a better rhythm not just to the days, but to my weeks.

At the moment, I have a happy kid who has eaten SOMETHING, been read to and snuggled and loved on by both of his parents, and is seemingly well adjusted. For right now, we'll call that success.

Aiming at something

I got a call last night at about 8pm asking if I would lead worship for a small campus of the church Roy works for. I agreed, and set about trying to pull a worship set. I realized it has been at least 5 months since I had to pull together a set, and nearly as long since I've played regularly. I stressed over the details, realizing that my style of worship and playing isn't really what is normal for this church. God laughed at my worries I'm sure, because once I was there I found out this poor little congregation had lost someone this week, and were in exactly the mood for my style.

Something in the message really struck me. The pastor talked about needing to have a goal to aim at. 3% of Americans are well off and successful. 3% of American's plan and write down their goals for the future. Probably not a coincidence that those stats are identical.

It got me wondering about what our goals are as a family. We have a goal to get out of debt. God is hugely blessing that one. Once I made a goal of what we would pay off by the end of the year, side work has been rolling in for both Roy and I. And for the first time in a VERY long time, there's hope of a raise in the future. Things that would make this goal we have WAY more attainable. It's been awesome to see God bless those plans.

But what other plans do we have? Where DO we want to be in 10 years? What do we want our legacy to be? These are things I'll be working on as I finish out clutter clear out in the next months. :)

That feeling in the pit of your stomach

This is a really hard week for me. There have been tears nearly every day, and that usually also gives me headaches.

My best friend is leaving on a 5 month missions trip with YWAM. I'm totally excited for her and her wonderful husband. They are an amazing couple, and I know that God will enrich their lives and bless them beyond belief with this trip. I also know that anyone who comes into contact with them will be hugely blessed. I'm so ready to hear the amazing stories they will have to share from this adventure.

But for myself and my family, I'm sad. Josh and Kassi have become so much a part of our family. We've spent holidays with their families, we've spent birthdays and vacations together. When I need advise, Kassi and her mom are the first people I think of. Kas and I share so many little adventures in daily life. And my LittleFish adores them. It hurts to let them go, even for a limited time.

So I'm trying to let myself cry my tears and be sad, in remembrance that "My sadness does not harm others". I'm trying to not pretend everything is ok and shove the feelings deeper. I'm trying to not eat the pain away. And little by little, I know that the pain will subside, and though we will continue to miss them dearly, they will be back, and we will video chat with them in the meantime.

I wonder if they could possibly know how much we love them. How much I love them. How much Kassi is a sister of my heart. And loving people well means not being selfish with them. Because they are far too fabulous NOT to share with the world!

Yesterday, LittleFish discovered a book that's been on his shelves for a while. I had originally seen it at Anthropologie, but was unwilling to pay their prices, so I got it off of Amazon. I don't think I ever expected him to like this book so young.

It's called "How to Behave and Why" by Munro Leaf. The book talks about four main things you need to be in order to make good friends and keep them.  You must be Honest, Fair, Strong, and Wise. This darling book was originally printed in the 40s and is by the author of "Ferdinand". There's not a lot of pictures, and they aren't fancy. Mostly they are stick figures. But something about this book has grabbed his attention, and he has been asking us to read it to him. I am SO glad he did!


See, I think I learned something from the book while I read to LittleFish tonight. It wasn't something that I had never heard before, but put into the context of this children's book about teaching little ones how to behave, it really resonated with me.

It was a line about other people having ideas, thoughts, and ways to do things, and that their way can be just as right as yours. It really struck a chord with me, because I know I try to make FishPapa load the dishwasher, do the laundry and clean up just the way I like them done.

But this little kids book just gently reminded me that "I can't always be right no matter who I am" and that I can choose to do things the best of all ways. But that also means I need to watch and take in how others do things. I need to close my mouth (I admittedly talk WAAAAAYYYY too much) and open my ears to hear what others think. I would be a better friend if I can take this to heart. I'll at least try, and read the book to LittleFish as often as he will let me so I will be reminded.

Meal Planning & Budgets

Recently, we were told we have a very low food budget for the three of us. In all honesty, it would be a high food budget in terms of couponers. We are right at $350 a month for three of us, and that doesn't account for FishPapa's allowance that he eats lunch off of most days. We still enjoy convenience foods some of the time, but there have been two things that have truly changed that budget. Once upon a time, FishPapa and I sometimes spent $700 on dining out and groceries. JUST the 2 of us.

Probably the biggest thing was sitting down and limiting ourselves to a cash based budget. I'm not always good about it, but we usually stay really close to our budget.

But there are two other things that have made a huge difference. A deep freeze in our garage, and taking the time to plan our meals. Some people plan a week at a time, but that seems like a lot of extra work for me. I plan a month at a time, and write it on a calendar that I post on the fridge. I look up, and see what our game plan is, shop once a pay period, and then only run to the store for fresh produce and milk as we run out. I spend less time shopping when I do this, and am tempted less to spend money on extras.

I discovered freezer cooking last spring, which has helped TONS during the week that I have to really focus on work each month. Either Fishpapa or I can go out to the freezer, grab the meal and set it cooking, and know we will have a wonderful meal to eat later that evening. :)

I really do wish that I had learned to value being frugal when we were younger and made more money, but I'm grateful that even though i came to the party a little late, there is always time to learn these wonderful habits!

Christmas Dinner

Once upon a time, I lived in one of those families. You know, the one where the kids get shuttled back and forth for holidays. Christmas was always especially crazy. We would spend the week before Christmas with our Dad and Stepmom, then on Christmas Eve we would have THREE celebrations. One in the morning with just family, one in the afternoon with Stepmom's family, then one later in the evening with Dad's family. (Dad's family is HUGE!)

We would then go to a late night Christmas service with Mom (and usually her parents). We'd go to bed, wake up and do ANOTHER round of presents, and then settle in and have a big meal for Christmas dinner.


You can see why even as a child I thought Christmas was fun but exhausting. Everyone was stressed and I hated that feeling.

The first Christmas that Fisherpapa and I spent together was the one we got engaged. It took years, but eventually we got the running around to a minimum, in part due to Fisherpapa having to work every Christmas eve (working for a church is like that).

I was usually so exhausted by the time Christmas dinner rolled around (and having some rather traumatic memories of Christmas dinners I made as a 12 and 13 year old that turned out HORRIBLE) I just didn't want to stress about it. SO Christmas is our no-stress day. We wake up and have cinnamon rolls (I made these this year, and OH MY are they good!) and then hang out. And somehow in the last 10 years our tradition as become having chicken nuggets and tater tots for Christmas dinner. It's really funny - others have come and shared this holiday tradition with us and love it too - because it takes the pressure off the holiday.

This year with Fisherpapa and I watching our waistlines, we'll make chicken strips from scratch and have sweet potato fries. But ti's still our funny, weird tradition, and I love it!

No Room?

I've been very affected by the idea of simplifying recent. I bought a FABULOUS book called "Organized Simplicity" that I would recommend to anyone, and checked a book called "Simplicity Parenting" out of the local library.

I started by putting into practice some of the things from the first book - and by that I mean, I'm going through the house and doing the ultimate de-clutter. I started the day after Thanksgiving, clearing 7 outdoor garbage bags of clothing and other stuff from our room. Most of it went to charity, though I am also prepping a garage sale once the weather turns a bit nicer.

What I didn't expect was how emotional it was for me to remove all those items. I'm a saver by nature. Sentimental, soft, I love things that remind me of the past. But when I have bins and bins of things that don't fit and are not useful to me, it all becomes overwhelming to hold onto. I was shaking and near tears when I realized the massive amount of waste and time and money and energy all of that stuff represented.

The rest of the house has not been anywhere close to as emotional, but this week I will begin on my office. I'm positive that this room will also be hard for me. I'm trying to clear out as much as possible, especially trying to make the room somewhere that BabyFish (though I probably should be calling him ToddlerFish) can hang with with me while I work. All he wants is to be with me, and because my office is too cluttered I have to keep him out.

I wonder how many other things I am keeping out by having too much clutter in my life? How much I miss out on because of the emotional and spiritual clutter?

Letting Go

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I handle stuff, and how my reactions set the tone for how my day goes.

Yesterday was a prime example. I woke up, did dishes, made breakfast for my family, and then tried to get some stuff done around the house. But I was stressed the whole time, and I can't say I was that pleasant to be around. I felt there was too much to get done, too little time, and I was already tired from not getting enough sleep the night before.

But then I shifted my thinking. I got to have a meal with my guys, and I did get some stuff done. Yes, I wasn't going to be getting the nap I wanted, but I could get some things done and enjoy my time with my little one.

I realized that trying to over-manage the people I love most was not only driving them crazy, but it was causing me stress. And I was allowing that stress to ruin my day. So, now that I see a problem, how do I fix it?

simplify my life.
weight things as they truly matter.
stop and breathe, and look around to enjoy what I have.

The Deep Tired Feeling

The last few months have been really hard. There's not much I can point to and say "that's what made it hard". It's been this slow build of running myself into the ground for far too long. My work was too much, the stuff around the house was too much... It's been a tiring season.

But, through God's hand I have a smaller client load. It made us step back and realize I was trying to do too much. I'm trying to look at other areas of my life where I'm trying to do too much and not focusing on the things that matter most.

Tonight I turned off the TV and BabyFish and I played together. It had been a great morning at the Pumpkin Patch, and there was great fun had by all. But Saturday nights are always just the two of us. I like to think of it as Mommy Son Date Night. So I sat on the floor and played trains and firetrucks with him. I loved watching his little face as he learned new ways to play with things, and thinking about how his little mind is processing all the things he learns as he plays.

I'm tired and I can't way I wanted to sit on the floor and play with toys, but I'm glad I did. I'm hoping that this deep tired feeling will go away but even if it doesn't, I'll stop to play on the floor with my little one and enjoy him.

Traditions in the Making

Family traditions are a funny thing. There are some that we don't really want to become a part of our families, some that don't excite us, and some that can be redeemed.

When I was really young, my mom instituted Pizza night. Every Friday we ordered a pizza from Dominos, and ate in the living room together, gathered around whatever tv show wanted to watch. (I had seen Gone with the Wind in it's entirety by the time I was 10.) It was the only night of the week my sister and I didn't have to cook for ourselves.

On a blog I read, they have Friday night pizza and movie night with their whole family. They have several kids, at least one of which is BabyFish's age. But they do it a lot differently.

She makes her pizza from scratch. It's a big deal to start off with that, because it allows the pizza to be MUCH healthier. Then they sit down and watch a movie together as a family.

When you have a very active almost 2 year old, it's hard to imagine them sitting for any length of time. He spends most of his time running and climbing. (indoors, outdoors, it's all the same to him.) He also normally eats 6 or 7 times a day, which makes getting him to eat with us hard. (We always make him sit in his chair and hang out with us while we are eating.)

But last night the stars aligned, and BabyFish hadn't eaten, so we all ate dinner together. Then, we popped in the movie, cause I had been wanting to experiment with Movie Night. He sat on the couch, transfixed. He yelled OH NO, OH NO at some parts, and told the main character to GO, GO, Go, GOGO in the suspenseful parts. Overall, it was adorable, and awesome! I'm so excited to see what movies he will like and pay attention to, and which ones he won't.

But most of all, I'm excited that this tradition have been renewed and redeemed in my life.

Signs of Life

Once I got my garden beds in, I couldn't wait to plant. I'm worried about LittleFish getting into the plants and ripping my hard work to shreds, but I'm trying to make sure I can always see those garden beds when he's outside. He's still managed to climb into them a couple times. We'll see how it goes.

But it's been just over a week, and I've been good about watering them (After losing half our front lawn to the unexpected sunny warmth, but that's another story). Today, I got a few happy surprises. They are a little hard to see, so I put little blue circles around them.




Those are my lettuce and Snap peas making an appearance!

And my front porch held a different surprise: Some already nearly ripe strawberries!

I can't wait to pick them and share with LittleFish!